Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
