Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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