Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
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You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
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I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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