I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
It's Friday. Sex?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
