They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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