Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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