sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
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I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
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I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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