would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
