if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize