The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
