Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
