I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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