All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
