I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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