Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Someone signed my nipple.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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