i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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