this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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