Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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