I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
