Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
honey bunches of taint.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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