I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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