You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
