You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
