...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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