is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
