Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Drunk is a universal language darling
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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