I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
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Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
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Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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