no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
