I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize