Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
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All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
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We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today