Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize