Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry