You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
