I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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