R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
