i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
