4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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