Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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