I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
