Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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