I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
