Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
