she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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