You can't motorboat a personality
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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