Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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