ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
