im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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