so explain again why im purple
no
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
