So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
