HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
