You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
