I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
