The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
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Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
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It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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