Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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