Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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