You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
