ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
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