She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
