why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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