i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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