I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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