So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
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I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
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I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!