I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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