Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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