please come you make the beer taste better
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
