Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
