i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
