drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize