Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
