I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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