why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
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Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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