How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
